An Ode to a Stupid Dishwasher

Dishwasher, dishwasher,

I remember the day

When you came along

And sent our old, ugly one away.

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You were bright white, and working

A high end gift, you were free,

You matched our kitchen already,

What else could there be?

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I guess when they say

That you get what you pay for

They weren’t wrong about you,

For you’ve now dumped all over our floor.

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The mess that you’ve made

Both upstairs and down,

Is quite a frustration;

You’re making us frown.

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Of course, you waited to break

Until we were away for two weeks,

Because what a nice welcome home

To arrive to a huge freaking leak.

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You’re costing us a lot

In both money and time,

For we now need to replace you

And clean up your slime.

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Oh stupid dishwasher,

You’ll be on your way

Just as soon as we find

Your replacement, I’ll say.

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This time we won’t

Look for one that is free,

But instead find a new one;

Let’s hope it won’t pee,

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All over the tiles,

Walls, ceiling and rug,

Then just sit there all

Bright white, clean looking and smug.

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It’s unfortunate that you add to us

Unnecessary extra cost

When we’re trying to find renters,

A search bringing us exhaust

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At least you did this now,

To us and not them,

So we can kick you to the curb,

And not leave it to a friend.

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So stupid dishwasher,

Good riddance and goodbye,

Now let me get to the sink

And do your job just fine.