An Ode to a Stupid Dishwasher

Dishwasher, dishwasher,

I remember the day

When you came along

And sent our old, ugly one away.

You were bright white, and working

A high end gift, you were free,

You matched our kitchen already,

What else could there be?

I guess when they say

That you get what you pay for

They weren’t wrong about you,

For you’ve now dumped all over our floor.

The mess that you’ve made

Both upstairs and down,

Is quite a frustration;

You’re making us frown.

Of course, you waited to break

Until we were away for two weeks,

Because what a nice welcome home

To arrive to a huge freaking leak.

You’re costing us a lot

In both money and time,

For we now need to replace you

And clean up your slime.

Oh stupid dishwasher,

You’ll be on your way

Just as soon as we find

Your replacement, I’ll say.

This time we won’t

Look for one that is free,

But instead find a new one;

Let’s hope it won’t pee,

All over the tiles,

Walls, ceiling and rug,

Then just sit there all

Bright white, clean looking and smug.

It’s unfortunate that you add to us

Unnecessary extra cost

When we’re trying to find renters,

A search bringing us exhaust

At least you did this now,

To us and not them,

So we can kick you to the curb,

And not leave it to a friend.

So stupid dishwasher,

Good riddance and goodbye,

Now let me get to the sink

And do your job just fine.

2 thoughts on “An Ode to a Stupid Dishwasher

  1. Oh my word – literally – what an awesome poem (insert total happy face here). So sad that happened however (insert total sad face here)…


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