The Zeelandt Story; Craft Brewer in Hawke’s Bay

Featured

Christopher Barber, owner and brewer at Zeelandt, is the youngest of four boys. He grew up on a vineyard in the Kumeu River area of Auckland, New Zealand, learning about wine from his older brother, Philip (of Petane Wines). He remembers already developing an interest in wine at 11 years old. He learned about food, coffee and beer too and says, “it all went from there.”

For his brother, Philip, wine became the choice, but for Christopher, it was good, traditional, local craft beer. He noticed that in New Zealand, “there was good wine selection and development but beer was lagging behind.” He loved Belgian beers and recognized that “there was something missing in New Zealand; there was a lack of choice. There were so many good beers that were all imported.” As a passionate supporter of local businesses, he “wanted beer that was locally made.”

Family is important to the Barbers, and Christopher was inspired by his Grandfather, who was an entrepreneur. From a young age, he wanted to follow in his Grandfather’s footsteps, and own a business. His great, great Grandfather had also started a brewery in New Zealand. Naturally, he ended up combining his dreams and passions to open Zeelandt.

He first had the idea in 2000, but it wasn’t until 2003 that he decided to go to the UK to work in some breweries and learn the trade. He ended up at St. Austell Brewery in Cornwall, then worked in a few different English pubs, on boats in France, and even picked grapes in the Mosel with his brother, Philip. When he returned to Auckland, a new craft brewery had opened up called Hallertau Brewery. At that time, it was still small, and Christopher got a job there as the only employee alongside the owner, Steve Plowman, where he gained 2 years of experience. He then decided to pursue formal education in the industry, and went back to the UK to complete a 6 month Brewing Diploma in Sunderlan. Christopher comments that the schooling was “really good to bring it all together,” and it added the finishing touch to his hands-on experience.

He was ready to start Zeelandt, and looked for land in Auckland, but found it was so expensive. His Dad and brother had recently expanded the Petane vineyard property and suggested Christopher put the brewery there; he agreed that Hawke’s Bay would be a great home for Zeelandt, for a few reasons. Besides being near to family and them being able to work together, Christopher recognized the growing eclectic food and wine scene in Hawke’s Bay. The weather and climate were draws, and Eskdale reminded him of his Kumeu River childhood. It was 2011 when he decided to go ahead; as Christopher was still working in Auckland, he commuted back and forth every weekend to build the business; during this time, he also met his wife. She was flatting with Sarah, who ended up marrying his brother, Philip! He made the official move and opened Zeelandt in the spring of 2012. He and Luciana married in 2014.

History and legacy is important to the Barbers, and the Zeelandt name reflects that. It honours the legacy of New Zealand, and ties in the European influence of beer that Christopher loves. Zeelandt means “sea land,” and was the original province in Holland that Able Tasman sailed from when he discovered New Zealand.

Christopher’s labels are edgy and cool, and they all reflect the history and origin of each beer style. The Good Thief, for example, is his Pilsner, and the name and art on the label tell the story of a brewer from Munich who went to Bohemia, stole some yeast, and invented Pilsner.

One thing that amazed me about Chris was that the first official brew he ever did on his own was large scale; it was the first brew Zeelandt did. He didn’t start small in his garage like people might assume. He had more of the ‘go big or go home’ mentality and used his experience at other breweries to jump in straight away. Other than a “hop volcano” explosion, which he assures me is part of the learning experience for many brewers, it’s really gone well for him!

Christopher spends his time at work doing a variety of things, as everything is done on site. Some days are spent bottling, some labeling, and some he is out delivering to his clients in the Bay, in his beautiful 1976 Kingswood ute.

As beer isn’t quite my specialty, I asked Chris to give me a basic overview of his day when he brews a beer, which he does about 5 times a month. It’s basically a full day that starts at 6:30am and entails heating mashed barley to get sugar for alcohol, which has to go through several stages, including the addition of hops for flavour, different yeasts for style and fermentation, and cooling and stabilizing over a few weeks. For the full details of a Zeelandt brew day, check out this article: A Brew Day with Christopher from Zeelandt.

By the end of the 3 to 4 week process, the beer is ready to be bottled, labeled and put in cases, all of which is done by Chris and Tom at Zeelandt.

Christopher describes brew days as “intense days,” that are “quite cool, because you’re working together and coming out at the end and hitting your targets. It’s a good feeling.” He also appreciates working with Tom, and says “with two guys you can focus on little things and get to really know the brewery.”

I was amazed at the whole process, and how complex and scientific it actually is. His brewery is quite cool, and if you visit, you can see all the equipment inside. He sources his barley largely from New Zealand, and will bring in hops from wherever he needs to in order to stay true to the style of beer he is making. The grains aren’t wasted after use either; some lucky cattle are getting the remainders!

Christopher’s mission statement for the brewery is simple. He wants to produce “full flavoured, true to style beer” for consumers “both in Hawke’s Bay and throughout New Zealand.” He also expresses how important it is for him and his company to be known as “good people,” and says, “we want to be commercially good to deal with, good in the community like my grandfather, and good environmentally. We want to do good things with what we’ve got here, because if you want to take from the trough you’ve got to put something back in.” He sees the value in being involved in the community and is part of the recently formed Esk River Care Group that protects the biodiversity of the local area, which is one reason why he’s so excited to get the new Zeelandt Beer Garden open next summer. It will double as a Cellar Door for Petane Wines, also in the family and on the same property.

Christopher says, “the Beer Garden will be our way of telling our story. We don’t want to be behind closed doors. It’s something we can use to show people the family and the story, the vineyard and the brewery.” He knows that for him, it will also “bring more fun into the work,” and he sees it as a positive change to the way they do business. “Rather than just send product out, bring people here,” he believes. Chris knows that many share his sentiment that “there’s nothing better than relaxing and having a beer,” and the Beer Garden will be a place for exactly that, and trying all the styles!

Zeelandt produces 6 beers in the core range, but also adds seasonal beers each year, because Christopher enjoys trying new ones, like “Mary,” for example, this year’s Christmas beer named after his grandmother. His core range focuses on the European classics, because they’ve been “made for centuries. They’ve got it down. There’s a reason why over hundreds of years people come back and drink them time and time again.” He’s even looking into a low-alcohol craft beer once the Beer Garden is open, which will be great for him, and the restaurants that stock his beers. I asked Christopher if he had to chose a favourite, which one it would be. His go to is the Helles Jerry Rig Lager, but it depends on the weather, and his mood too.

Challenges Christopher faces include many of those that come with running any small business. Being small, and doing everything on site, means he has to keep a lot of plates spinning at once. Thinking about brewing is the easy part for Christopher, as that’s where his passion lies. Thinking about the business side has been a learning curve. There are multiple side issues that come in as well, like health and safety, food safety, managing employees, and sales and marketing costs.

How to sell different beers in a market that sometimes just wants one mainstream style can be challenging. He says, “I thought, ‘beer sells itself. Wow, it’s going to sell itself in Hawke’s Bay.’ It does not happen that way!” He also notices that “there’s not the terroir and weather and all of that to talk about with beer,” like there is with wine. The story is different. How much to make of each new style has been something Chris has had to experiment with, because he’s running the brewery at full capacity and doesn’t want to have any particular brew sitting in a tank for long.

He made some interesting comments comparing beer and wine sales. People are looking for bargains with both, but Christopher points out that “people will spend a lot of money on wine, not necessarily beer. There’s a real price cap and bracket for beer. With wine you notice the difference between a $12 bottle and a $27 bottle. With beer do you notice between $8 and $12? Maybe not.” He also points out that “wine can age. Beer you’ve got to get it out the door and into the fridge.”

Owning a craft brewery has taught Christopher some valueable lessons. As a husband and father to two young children, Chris is still learning to balance family life with work, which so many of us can relate to. He and Luciana have Oliver, age 4, and Sofia, age 2. He admits “the business requires a lot, but you have a family,” and that family is the most important thing. He also says it’s tough to find free time for himself, but that he’s learned the importance of trying to enjoy what he’s doing and bringing enjoyment into it, and that’s another thing he knows the Beer Garden will do. “It will bring the people and the fun to us, and it will be an important part for our well being and the business.”

Is it worth it to Christopher now that he’s living the dream he’s had for so many years? “Yes, absolutely,” was his answer. He’s had his times away from the brewery doing sales when he had more employees. As soon as he was away for a while, he had a realization. “I really missed running the brewery and just loved getting back into it” as soon as he got home. He loved “getting back into the beer and the recipes and the brew house.” It really is his passion.

He also acknowledges his wife, Luciana, and his brothers and parents. “This would not happen without the family,” he knows.

Although the Beer Garden is scheduled to open next summer, the brewery is open already. Head to Zeelandt this summer in the beautiful Esk Valley, and you can try some samples and buy in bottles or flagons. Christopher is there Monday to Friday, 9.00-5.00, and he’s also open Saturday afternoons 12.00-4.00. Check out his website at zeelandt.co.nz, for more info on the beers, and follow him on Instagram @zeelandt_brewery to stay in the know for hours, new brews and special offers!

Tauranga & The Coramandel

Our final summer road trip ended up being 3 nights long, thanks to a kind soul making my roster work for me to travel, and thanks to Greg’s employer being flexible with his weekend. With that much time, we were able to go a bit farther than we had previously gone, and we decided to head up to Tauranga, and the Coramandel, with some specific sights in mind.

Some generous and helpful friends of ours loaded us up with all the camping gear we could possibly need and want, and sent us on our way!

We left town after work on Friday night, and ate our spaghetti in the car! We stopped in Rotarua to grab a beer for Greg. You non-Kiwis may be thinking, “excuse me, grab what?” Apparently it’s legal to drink alcohol in the vehicle in most places in NZ, as long as someone else is driving. Yeah. (Kiwis, if I’ve misunderstood this, correct me, please!) We hadn’t done it yet, but we figured we should have the experience at least once. (Cause we don’t have enough opportunity to drink here as it is. #sarcasm) It felt really wrong, but when in NZ… cheers to road trip beers!

We arrived in Tauranga where some new friends, R and S, put us up for the night. We shared some wine and had a great visit with them on their beautiful patio before bed.

The next morning, we headed to the beach by their place, Papamoa Beach, and enjoyed some white sand, sun, and Tuatua catching!

We had heard of catching tuatuas from a couple of people, but didn’t really understand how to do it until we got into the water. We saw some others with buckets out about thigh deep, and wandered out as far as they were. Greg started digging his toes around in the sand until he felt what seemed to be a rock underneath, and then picked it up to find out it was a Tuatua! They are similar to muscles or clams. I tried and found a few myself! The limit is 150 per person, per day, so Greg set out to get a small bucket full for dinner. It was a new, unique experience for both of us, and so cool to try.

We had an amazing brunch with R and S, and then headed into Tauranga, where we climbed Mount Maunganui.

It was a bit cloudy, which ended up being to our benefit, as it was 27°C, very muggy, and we came down drenched in sweat! The views at the top were gorgeous, and I would highly recommend climbing it if you’re ever there. Just make sure you have decent shoes, some water, and a relative level of fitness.

We did some shopping afterwards, and then Greg and I headed to visit some Canadian/Kiwi friends for dinner! It was so great to spend the evening with some familiar faces from Canada, and to glean some wisdom from people who have moved abroad, and experienced so many of the same things as we have, but are years ahead of us on the journey. (Greg also cooked the Tuatuas, and they were pretty flavourful! You can see some in the bowl between us.)

We finished the evening with a walk to the beach to watch the girls run and enjoy the cool breeze. We left Tauranga around 8:30pm to finish our treck to Hahei in the Coramandel, where we camped at the Seabreeze Holiday Resort. The road was extremely windy to get up there, but was nothing we weren’t prepared for by now. We arrived and got the tent set up, and made it to bed before midnight.

Sunday was a relaxing morning of sleeping in, coffee and pancakes. The camp facilities at Seabreeze were amazing to me! I guess they are quite typical here, and from what we’ve heard, some resorts are better than others, but Greg and I were blown away at the amenities this place had. They had a large communal building with several bathroom stalls and shower stalls (there was never a line in the 2 days we were there). They had a big kitchen area with 4 fridges/freezers, about 6 sinks (dish soap provided), 6 stove tops (some pans provided), several microwaves and kettles, toasters, plug-ins where people charged their phones, and even a tv room with couches and chairs.

This place would be amazing to camp at with groups of friends! I’ve never had such a great experience tenting. It honestly reminded me of being at summer camp. We slept in our tent, but we headed to the main building just down the path whenever we wanted to cook, do dishes, use the toilet, or get something from the fridge. We also met a few nice people in the kitchen as well; I really like how this style of camping promotes community and making new friends. A person could have privacy in their site if they preferred, but could also head to the main building to meet others if he or she wanted. It was awesome! Canada could learn from this.

Sunday afternoon, Greg and I headed to Cathedral Cove. We parked and walked the 25 minutes in with our beach gear. We planned to stay for a while and enjoy it, instead of just getting some photos and leaving. I’m glad we did! We had a great afternoon. It was partially cloudy, which allowed us to stay longer without burning to a crisp in the NZ sun. (We still burnt a bit!) Cathedral Cove is beautiful, and a NZ must do.

We wanted to go to Hot Water Beach as well, so we left Cathedral Cove in the late afternoon, with the plan of heading over to HWB, not realizing that we were in the wrong tide window for it to work. We had gotten there too late, and the water was up high enough to cover most of the hot spots. We left with the plan of returning in the morning before heading home.

As it turned out, there was a brewery on site at Seabreeze, so obviously, Greg was pretty happy about that. We cleaned up and headed over for some pints and hot chips before dinner. It was a nice place to relax on site at our resort!

We had a nice steak dinner, cooked on the communal BBQ at the resort, and enjoyed some star gazing before bed.

The stars were so bright and beautiful that far out of town. It felt like we could see every star in the Southern Hemisphere. We’ve learned that down here we can see the Southern Cross, the constellation on NZ’s flag, but it can’t be seen from Canada. We can’t see the Big Dipper from down here.

Another random piece of information for the Canadian readers is that they have these creatures here called “cicadas.” They essentially sound like crickets, but they chirp in the day, from dawn till dusk, and are about ten times louder than crickets. I usually don’t mind them, but while sleeping in the tent, they were so loud in the early evening and morning that we had to put earplugs in. Thankfully I had 2 sets in my bag from the flight over!

On Monday morning, after another round of pancakes, we packed up and headed to Hot Water Beach, at the appropriate time this time! In order to access the hot springs under the sand, one needs to be there either 2 hours before or after low tide. We only had a bucket, but Greg started digging.

Our neighbours in the next hole told us the water beneath the surface needs to be hot right at the beginning of digging. If the water coming up is cold, there is no hot spring under that spot. We had cold water, so we moved to another spot, and started digging again. Those same neighbours lent us their spade, so Greg was able to do a more efficient dig.

The water was warm in the new spot, so Greg kept digging deeper and deeper until we had a sizeable pool to sit in. There was a really noticeable hot spot on the left side of our pool, and it was so hot that it was burning my elbow and waist on the left side. I had to keep shuffling the sand around and moving the water throughout the pool, just like trying to warm up the bath water! We just dug a hole in the sand and made our own hot tub with geothermal heat. NZ has got some amazing things to do!

As our neighbours were so kind to give us tips and lend us their spade, we gave them some of our wine, and had a nice visit with them. Some other neighbours had a hole that was so hot they couldn’t even go in it, and we felt bad for them. As we had to leave a bit early to get home for a party that evening, we gave them our hole, and they were quite thankful.

We enjoyed the scenery on the drive home, and I took my turn to enjoy a nice wine pairing with my lunch in the car (still so odd…). We got home 25 minutes before our friends arrived at our place, and we finished off the weekend with a fun farewell party with friends!

It was a great long weekend, and finale to our summer travels. I’m so looking forward to the next time we get to go exploring in more of this amazing country we’re calling home.

A Weekend in Wellington

We’ve had a very busy January at work (and by “we” I mean “me,” as Greg’s been enjoying all of the public holidays). I’m used to having two weeks off over Christmas and New Years, and then spending the next few weeks of work struggling to get out of bed and motivate myself to get back into the routine, after having to dig my car of out of the snow in the dark, minus 40 weather. This year, of course, with an industry and country change, brought a big life change, and a significant change to my January! I’ve not had more than two days off in a row in a long while, (maybe at all since I started my job), but with that, comes no dread of returning to work, and no broken routine. It’s a good thing I love what I’m doing! January is one of the busiest months in the Cellar Door, and we’ve been working hard, for long hours, in the heat! We’ve had many days in a row of higher than 30 degree weather, and heaps of sunshine. I’ve been spending my mornings going for jogs along the ocean instead of digging my car out of the snow, and getting sun burnt instead of frost bitten!

With all of that work, I’ve been very tired, but when Greg and I realized I had a weekend off, we decided we needed to take advantage of it and go see some more of this beautiful country we’re calling “home.” As we did a “rustic” trip last time (slept in the car, next to a stream on a mountain and hiked 20kms), we decided to do a city trip this time. We chose Wellington, New Zealand’s capital, a four hour drive for us; on route, there is the Wairarapa wine region, with Martinborough in it, famous for its Pinot Noir, something Hawke’s Bay is too warm to do much of.

We left early Saturday morning and headed through many cute little towns on the way to Martinborough. We wanted to fit in a few wineries before our 1:00pm appointment at Ata Rangi.

We visited Poppies, Vynfields, and Schubert during the lunch hour. They were all very small production, beautiful places, and featured the Pinot Noir we were after.

We ran into a family at Poppies that lives in Wellington, that I had done a tasting with at Church Road recently; we all recognized each other, and stopped to chat! They told Greg how great of a time they had with me, and that they could tell how passionate I am about wine and the process of making it. That’s definitely true, and I’m glad it comes through to people who visit me in the Cellar Door!

We had a beautiful, seated tasting, with only 10 people at Ata Rangi, and got to hear a bit of their history, as well as the history of Martinborough.

After Martinborough, we headed into Welly! The first stop was the mall, where I bought some necessities that are harder to find in Hawke’s Bay, and looked for some clothes. Greg and I are noticing that the styles here are very different than in Europe or North America. I didn’t find much, but got a few things. We checked into our Airbnb in Island Bay, and then headed into downtown.

We had a walk around the waterfront, checked out Cuba Street and the candy store, Nicnacs, before having a pint at Hashigo Zake, a craft beer bar.

We had dinner at Chow, an Asian inspired place, that surprisingly was able to accommodate me very well. We loved their food, and atmosphere.

We finished the evening at Noble Rot, a famous wine bar in Wellington, where we got a Napa Chardonnay, just to remember what they taste like, and did a blind flight of three reds from around the world. We did decently well on our guesses, and enjoyed having some red wine from the old world again.

Sunday morning, we slept in a tiny bit, but had too much on the agenda to laze around! We started with a trip to the top of Mount Victoria for 360 degree views of the city. It was beautiful up there, and definitely worth a see!

We checked out the Te Papa Museum, where we learned about some of New Zealand’s history in the First World War, and saw their amazing, more than double life size models of soldiers; they have been crafted in incredible detail!

Next, we headed to the waterfront to walk more of it, and grabbed a coffee. This was a relaxing part of the day, and was a peaceful stroll.

The wind was intense! I had been warned of the Wellington wind, but didn’t quite comprehend how fast it actually is! I literally had to hold my sunglasses on my head because they were blowing off. The wind actually pushed us along if it was behind, and we had to lean into it if it was in front. I had to tuck my shirt into the front of my pants to prevent it from whipping up!

We eventually found the cute huts at Oriental Bay, and then headed to do some breweries for Greg!

Wellington has a really big craft beer scene. We went to Husk first, that features Choice Bros brewing, and great food, and then to Whistling Sisters. Greg found most of the beer very good; his favourites still lie in other parts of the world, but he really liked lots of the Welly ones.

We did some wine shopping at Moore Wilson’s and Glengarry, and were excited to find some wine from other parts of the world. We’ve got a craving for a good Napa or Sonoma red, but we haven’t found that yet. (Do we want it just because we can’t find it?)

The last stop was at Starbucks, for the New Zealand souvenir mug, and an Americano. To be honest, I’m starting to get used to New Zealand’s amazing coffee, and how rich and velvety it is, with a nice foam to it, that I found the Americano a bit lacking; however, it was a weird sized cup and had too much water for the amount of espresso, and it also didn’t have the same flavour as in Canada. I don’t blame anyone, but they’re competing with so many other amazing coffee shops; if Starbucks wants to become more popular here, they need to up their game. (Disclaimer: I will always love Starbucks.) We can’t use our app or gold cards here, and they don’t have the oatmeal, but I did get my Americano free with my mug. The mug was $30 here (yikes) but Switzerland still takes the prize for “most expensive we’ve seen” at somewhere around $32 - $34 Canadian. The Starbucks people probably think I died, seeing as how my gold card, that used to get several purchases a week, went from full on, to absolutely nothing the day I left Canada. If anyone from Starbucks is reading this, I am alive, and I still love you.

We enjoyed the ride home, as it is a really beautiful drive through mountains, with lush greenery, and several cute towns, one of which won New Zealand’s most scenic town recently.

I said to Greg before the trip that I wanted to have a relaxing weekend in Wellington, as I have been so tired from work and not sleeping well due to our almost 30 degree nights (poor me, right?). If you know me though, I always try and fit as much in as possible on a trip, because I like to take advantage of being in the place. I have to go back more than once to be able to fully relax in any place! This weekend, no matter how much I thought we’d relax, was not relaxing, but it was full of sight seeing, and we felt like we were on holiday! I said to Greg at one point, “doesn’t it feel like we just flew here and we have to fly back to Canada soon? But we don’t. We will just drive back home and go to work tomorrow.”

I’ve also noticed there’s nothing that makes me feel more at home in Napier than leaving it, and then getting that comfortable feeling of coming home when we return to Hawke’s Bay. We’ve definitely ended up living in the right place for us, and it’s feeling more like home every day.

Our weekend in Wellington was short and sweet, and we’re happy to have seen the city; we’re also happy to be home… until the next time!

How My Laundry Room Became a Brewery, and My Backyard a Tire Storage Facility

I remember the night I picked a fight with my husband about the laundry room. I distinctly remember saying something like, “it’s our laundry room, NOT your brewery!” I look back on that now, and laugh at myself. I’m thankful he was so patient with me at the time. There are things that are worth fighting over, and there are things that just aren’t. I realize now, that the ratio of washer/dryer square footage to brewing equipment in the laundry room is something that just isn’t worth it. I learned an important lesson after pondering what happened within me that night to cause my anger. I seemed to think that I had more rights to our laundry room than he did, but that’s just it – it is our laundry room, not mine.

Let’s back up a bit. I’ll fill you in on my husband’s hobbies. He’s had a lot of them throughout the length of our marriage, and most haven’t stuck for more than a few years. It’d be fair to say we regret spending money on some of them now, but he was learning and exploring, and they were important to him at the time. (I’ve regretted purchases too.) So when he was gifted some beer making supplies and decided he’d take it up, I assumed it would be one of those hobbies that he’d do once or twice, and then let fall along the wayside.

I was wrong. He is passionate about brewing.

Years, and dozens of home-brewed IPA’s, honey-browns, and English bitters later, he’s got a sizeable brewery in our home, and is constantly stunning tasters of his beer with how great they are. His friends are benefiting from his generosity and love of sharing his craft with anyone who appreciates it.

He used to take over our kitchen for a day to complete the brewing process, and leave our entire house smelling like sweet malt. People would ask me, “don’t you hate that he makes your whole house smell like a brewery?” I didn’t actually. Or they’d ask, “how come you let your husband take over your whole kitchen for that?”

Although some hobbies were costly, he made money with others - his “side-hustles” as he likes to call them. He’s very gifted and can fix almost anything. He’s also patient in dealing with online shoppers from our local used items listing website; he has a small hobby of taking old, broken things, fixing them up, and selling them at low prices for quick turn-over.

At one point, a few years ago, we had close to 50 used tires in our backyard. I mean, they were everywhere! I borrowed a bunch to take to school for an obstacle course for the kids once; we even threw a Cross-fit themed birthday party for a friend and used them for challenges and a winner’s podium! Again with the comments, and from the guys too! “My wife would never let me keep junk like that in our backyard.” “How do you get her to let you fill your backyard with all those tires?” That’s sad to me, that my guy friends felt that way about their wives.

In his brewing craft, he started where most probably do, with beer kits. Then, he transitioned to doing a few more steps on his own, and after his beer club informed him that if he’s using any part of a kit, he can’t really call it home-brew, he went 100% from the grain. He literally buys a big bag of malted barley, grinds it himself, and does it completely from scratch. The kitchen was no longer sufficient. As he just happens to also be a custom welder, he spent the next year building a huge custom brewery in our basement laundry room. He’s got 3 massive tanks that he welded, a custom counter and sink, heating systems, an electrical panel to run all of this, piping that hooks up to our laundry venting to the outside to eliminate the steam, numerous other equipment, and hundreds of bottles.

Needless to say, the laundry room is no longer a laundry room; we have a brewery with a washer and dryer in it.

We have a clean and empty backyard now that he’s out of the “tire side hustle,” but there were years when we barely had a backyard; we had a used tire storage facility behind the house.

Fast forward to the laundry room argument… pointless. It’s not my laundry room, it’s our laundry room. Can I wash clothes in there? Maybe not while he’s brewing, but that’s where communication comes in. It’s not my backyard, it’s our backyard. Could I have hosted a beautiful garden party with all those tires out there? Maybe not, but I hosted a pretty sweet birthday party and made the best of it.

So many women carry this idea that the house is their domain; at the very least, the kitchen, laundry room, and back garden are theirs. The guys can have the garage, or the shed, or maybe some back room in the basement, where guests can’t see when they come over. I don’t know why we think this, or why this idea is passed on to us by other women. I don’t know why I just fell into that belief too, without even paying attention to it or questioning it. I’ve realized over the years, that thinking this house is mine, because I’m the wife, isn’t very selfless or loving. He doesn’t tell me I can’t park in the garage because he works in there; it’s our garage. He doesn’t complain about the living room clock that’s a bright red high heel (it’s not tacky at all people, it’s a designer marble clock we picked up in Venice); in fact, he suggested we hang it there so I can see it every day. We’ve also hung his motorcycle calendars in the kitchen.

It’s not my house, it’s our house. And in this house, it’s about sharing, and compromising, and making this home a place that we both can put our stamp on, and that we both feel at home in.

I don’t know what this guy of mine is going to get into next. I expect he’ll keep up the brewing, because he’s great at it, and he loves it. I hope he finds more money-making hobbies, cause what’s not to love there? Either way, he’ll be welcome to use our home, for what he needs it for, with no trouble from me; in return, I know I’ll be extended the same courtesy.