New Zeal in New Zealand; The Start of our Life in Hawke’s Bay

November 2018 will forever live in our memories as one of the most unique months of our lives; we will also remember being completely overwhelmed by God’s goodness and hand on our lives! I can’t believe we’ve only been in NZ for three weeks today. We have been absolutely amazed in the many, many ways we have seen God bless us and take care of us. It has been surreal to experience so many “impossible” blessings in such a short time frame. So much has happened, but I’ll just give an overview of the big topics for now, like jobs, cars, home, church and friends.

We arrived on Tuesday, the 13th of November (that’s how they date things here), picked up our rental car, and headed to our Airbnb. It was a really cute place, and we had the space to ourselves while the host couple was at work all day. I immediately got on the computer and started applying for jobs for both of us. Within an hour, Greg got a call from Linden Estate Winery to come for an interview the next morning!

Tuesday afternoon, we test drove two cars, and got groceries. I got in touch with a couple that a friend at home had put me in contact with via email, and they invited us for dinner the very next night! We spent Tuesday evening with our Airbnb hosts, sharing a bottle of wine and getting to know them.

On Wednesday morning, Greg went for his interview, and was hired on the spot! His job consists of helping around the vineyard and in the winery throughout the vintage season and the rest of the year. It is a small, family owned, estate winery, and he is part of a small group of core staff. He gets to do a little bit of everything and be really involved in several aspects of the wine making process; his job also requires him to use many different skills from the various trades he’s been working in over the last decade. That was exactly what he was looking for in a job, and he was hired within only 25 hours of us arriving in the Bay. Praise the Lord!

Everyone we’ve told has been shocked at how quickly he got a job, with no past winery experience. This kind of thing “just doesn’t happen,” and we feel it could only have been arranged by God. Linden also has a big shop that Greg has access to, as well as tools; they’re even getting him to brew a beer for harvest time, so he gets to do that too!

Wednesday afternoon, our second day here, we purchased the first car we had looked at the day before, for only $500, as it wasn’t running very well. Greg got to work on finding the problem. He decided we needed to search for another car for me, as this one, “the Polo,” was going to perhaps be a little unreliable.

I had heard of a FB group while we were in Sydney, from an American who had recently moved there, for the purpose of Americans connecting in Sydney. I wondered if there was one like that for Canadians in NZ, and sure enough, there is. I received permission to join it, and put a request out for someone to suggest areas that are good to live in, and areas to avoid. We had been told once we arrived how difficult it is to find rentals here, and we wanted to start looking right away. On their main rental site, there were only seven in our price range, and many were in undesirable neighbourhoods, or far from Greg’s winery. It’s typical here for a place to have upwards of sixty applicants too; we had no idea it would be so hard to find a place!

A Canadian girl got back to me right away on FB, suggesting we try to live in her area. She had been there for years, and loved it. She said it was beautiful and safe. Seeing as she was young and married, I messaged her to invite her for a drink. She said she would love to meet up, but her and her husband were moving away in less than three weeks. I said, “well we should just live in your place then!” She said she would recommend us to her landlord, and she did!

Wednesday evening, we went to meet R & A, the new couple whom we’d been in contact with. They were so friendly and had us in for dinner with their daughters. We spent the evening getting to know them and really enjoyed their company. They suggested I print my CV’s at their house (something I had worried about in Canada – “where will I print my CV’s?”) and they said we could borrow their car if we ever needed, and invited us to join them at their lakehouse in the summer. They read us a story about Kiwi Christmas and taught us about Hawke’s Bay. We feel blessed to have met them so quickly after arriving.

Thursday consisted of Greg working on the Polo, and me applying for some more jobs. I had also been in touch with a winemaker via Instagram while we were still in Canada, and he had been so helpful in tips for living here, answering my questions, and trying to help me find a job. He invited us to come try their wine and sit down with him and his partner, so we went to their house on Thursday, for what was supposed to be a glass of wine, and turned into five hours of visiting with him, his partner and their daughter over charcuterie until it was dark out! We feel blessed to have met them too!

The Canadian’s landlord had only just posted the listing for her “flat” the day that I was speaking to her, and she had already had over a hundred people contact her about it, over sixty applications, and a day “chocka full” of viewings set up for Sunday. Once her current tenant recommended us fellow Canadians to her, and we got in touch, the landlord said that she loves Canadians, has family in SK, and is destined to rent to Canadians. Amazingly, she offered to hold the place for us. We set up a time to see it Saturday.

On Friday, our rental car was due back, and the Polo still wasn’t running, so we found what appeared to be a great car, for a little more money than we’d hoped to spend, at a dealership. We test drove it that morning, and decided to purchase it. We got it insured and left it near the rental agency to pick up when we returned the rental later on.

Greg’s new boss’s partner showed us two places she had for us to potentially live. She has an empty house where her art studio is, that she would allow us to live in once our time at the Airbnb was up, as a transitional spot (where we are currently). She also has another property becoming available, that she wasn’t intending to rent out again, but that she said we could have if we wanted. Both of these are in a very desirable area of Hawke’s Bay. Here we were, on our first week in town, where it’s nearly impossible to find a rental, with two amazing choices in the most desirable neighbourhoods, both being held specifically for us. Amazing.

Greg took me to Linden so I could see where he’ll work, and I got a bit of a tour, and even got to meet most of his co-workers. It was a Friday at quitting time when we happened to be there, so we got to sit with them for a bit and have a visit.

After seeing Linden, we went and picked up the new car, the Mitsubishi, and took the rental back. We spent the evening with our Airbnb hosts again, after Greg worked until dark on the Polo.

Saturday, we drove to see the Canadian’s rental unit, and the car began breaking down on the way! We got there though, and decided to live there. It has the airport and a highway nearby, but there are no windows on that side of the house, so we can’t see it, and hardly hear it from inside. It’s in a great area, and everything is included – even towels and linens! It has wifi and tv, a dishwasher, and all the dishes. It used to run as a bed and breakfast, so we can literally move in with our bags.

This is another thing that has been shocking to many Kiwi’s here, as apparently that’s not how they usually do it. It’s quite uncommon to find a furnished place at all, let alone with dishes and linens. Here is another “impossibility” made possible. Oh, and we can walk to the ocean in five minutes! We can move in on the 9th of December, and I can’t wait for those after work walks to the ocean!

The Mitsubishi broke down completely after we left there, so we had to call the dealer back. Thankfully, he said to drop it at his shop and he would have it looked at the next week. We got yet another rental car, and then took me to apply for more jobs. Greg finally got the Polo running that evening! We were so thrilled about that!

Sunday morning was our first time to attend C3 Hawke’s Bay, so we were excited to go check out what we hoped would be our new church. We were greeted by some very friendly people, and found a small group to join that meets “fortnightly” on Wednesday’s. We made plans to go to the next one. The service was unique in the way that they had three of their core members tell their stories, so we got to know some of the people at the church really well just by attending on that particular day. The church also happened to be having a quarterly lunch afterwards that we were able to stay for, and use to spend more time meeting and connecting with people. It was a great week to be there.

Greg started his new job on Monday, six days after we arrived, and he got to do so many amazing things and learn so much. He came home with homework – a couple of bottles of wine we were supposed to drink so we could start getting familiar with it.

I also got a call for an interview at the job I really wanted! My new winemaker friend had recommended the company to me, and I had also seen it posted online the first day we were here, and I said out loud, “that’s my perfect job.” It was exactly what I said I wanted to do here, but didn’t think I’d be able to find or get. I was so excited, and also very nervous! I spent Tuesday preparing for it and learning as much as I could. Wednesday morning I went in for my interview, and it seemed to go well, however I found out they were interviewing more than four people for only two positions!

We had to return the rental car on Wednesday, and the Mitsubishi was supposedly fixed, so we picked it up… and made it half a block away before it broke down again. We took it right back and Greg spent twenty minutes arguing with the dealer on the phone who no longer wanted to refund us, and said he had to think about it overnight! I was so stressed. Thankfully, we had plans with R & A and their girls again that evening, so I was distracted! They also bought our drinks, invited us for Christmas, and lent us their car! I can’t believe the kindness they have shown us already. It brings tears to my eyes.

Wednesday and Thursday that week were big days of me practicing patience with the car and the job, and trusting that God would help us with the car dealer, and that if it were the job for me, God would set it up; if it wasn’t, He would bring something else my way at the right time.

Thursday, after taking a verbal beating on the phone by the dealer, Greg got our money back! We were so relieved, and back on the hunt for another car. Thursday evening, I heard from the job that they wouldn’t be deciding until the following week now, due to contacting references! It was hard to hear that I’d have to wait so long, but I just kept thinking that God would put me where I was supposed to be.

Friday, I got a call in the afternoon that they were offering me the job! I was so thrilled and excited! Again, I felt a miracle had happened. I have no winery experience, and they interviewed three or four others, and still chose me to do tours and tastings at the most visited, and one of the oldest, biggest name wineries in the Bay. I was, and am, so grateful to God for both of our jobs!

Saturday was spent moving out of our Airbnb in Hastings, into the transitional place belonging to Greg’s boss’s partner. It’s in Ahuriri, in Napier, very close to where we’ll live. On the way, we happened to notice a car on the side of the road for sale that hadn’t been there before. We joked that we should maybe buy that one, and then kept going.

Once we moved our stuff over to the new place, we went looking for a car again! Greg had found a bunch online and had lined up four test drives, but none of them seemed to be great. We had just started saying that maybe we needed to increase our budget when we pulled onto that main road near our Airbnb and saw that car on the side of the road again. We pulled over and Greg called the owner, who came and let us test drive it. She had just parked it there at lunchtime, literally moments before we had driven by. It felt right and seemed in good condition. The lady dropped her price when we got back, because she is a single Mom and didn’t want to deal with having to continue to show it to people. We got it for a steal!

On Saturday night, we met the woman that lives in the house behind the one we’re in, and shares our yard. She is from Italy! We connected right away and she sat and visited with us for a while, and invited us to her dinner party the following night.

On Sunday morning, we went to church again and met some more new people, and reconnected with some from the previous week. We spent the afternoon with R and A again after returning their car. They showed us how to turn my new ride into a camper van so we can sight see the NZ way on our days off!

That evening, we had dinner with L, our Italian neighbour! She cooked us Italian food and introduced us to some of her friends. It was a great day full of socializing, and we felt so blessed to have already met so many great people. I thought it was so interesting that we ended up making an Italian friend, who has already cooked Italian food for us, and that we can speak the small amount of Italian we learned with! The things we were looking forward to in Italy, we got to do here already!

I started my job on Wednesday the next week, and did four days in a row. It was a lot of information to take in, but I am absolutely loving it, and having so much fun. The staff are all so friendly, and as the third winery to be established in NZ, it has amazing history. The winemaker is friendly, great at his job, and makes quality wine that I’m proud to represent and pour for people. We even got invited to the Christmas party and had a great night socializing with my new colleagues and their partners. In the tasting room (Cellar Door as it’s called here) I’ve already met people from all around the world and gotten to have great conversations with so many of them in my first week!

We attended our first C3 Church Connect Group last week as well, and couldn’t believe how welcoming the group was. We felt right at home and completely comfortable with them, like we had known them for years.

We’ve taken every chance we can to get outside and enjoy the beautiful scenery around us. We’re looking forward to when the rainy spring ends and we can get outside even more.

We continue to learn so much as we slowly integrate into the wine industry, and look forward to the months ahead. We have been so blessed to have everything we’ve needed come together in such a short time. It’s been only three weeks today since we arrived, and we’re both working in not only wine industry jobs, but the exact types of jobs we wanted. We have been blessed to meet so many amazing people already and have been out with new friends more nights than we’ve been in! We have vehicles now, and a place lined up, and a great church and small group. It really has been overwhelming to see God provide for our needs in ways I couldn’t have even dreamed of.

Despite everything that’s gone right, it’s not been easy, but it’s been humbling, exciting, and so encouraging for us to have experienced this new beginning. I am curiously awaiting what’s coming next in our story!

The Last Starbucks

I have been picturing this moment for years now… picturing, dreaming, envisioning, hoping for, praying for, questioning at times, even fearing it if the anxiety got too tight a hold, but grasping onto it in my mind as clear as day. Greg and I talked about “that dream moment,” many times, when we would be HERE, sitting in the secure area, at our gate, with our last Canadian Starbucks. 

There were many times it seemed like it would never come. I even started typing this post a long time ago so I could read it over when I needed a reminder to have faith and hold tight to the dream. Every time we travel I take a secure area Starbucks photo before we get on the plane; if you’ve followed me in the past, you know the ones.

This is “the last Starbucks” on this side of the ocean for a while. This is the last Starbucks on this side of a one way ticket to New Zealand (I left a blank when I typed this months ago because I used to be sure it was Rome but somehow knew it might be somewhere else).  

This is the last Starbucks on this side of the life we know, the last Starbucks on this side of a life we can almost predict. This is the last Starbucks on this side of safety in our people, comfort in our communities, stability in the familiarity of home. This is the last Starbucks in the same building as family members and close friends, who we’ve just hugged and cried with downstairs. This is the last Starbucks on this side of the biggest adventure we’ve ever known, this side of the contradicting panic and fear, and also complete peace that we have in knowing we’re supposed to do this. This is the last Starbucks as people who have only ever lived in one city, before changing everything we know, and trusting God more than we’ve had to in a while to provide everything we need. This is the last Starbucks on this side of the hugest leap of faith we’ve ever taken. 

This moment is here

This moment is real

This moment is now

Woah.

We’ll catch up with you on the other side of the world! Cheers. 

There Will Always Be Something to Worry About

There will always be something to worry about. Even when one thing gets resolved, and I think, “if this could just happen, then I’ll feel so much better…” there’s always going to be the next thing. If there weren’t, we wouldn’t need God to rely on. Even when one trial in life is finished, it’s backed with another one, of another kind, or the same kind, eventually. This is life, and trials are our teachers.

We struggled all summer to rent our house. We prayed and prayed, because we wanted tenants in the spring, so we could live in our camper all summer and save money for our planned move to Italy this fall. Along the way, through a series of events and lessons, we learned that we are actually not going to Italy; we’re planning to move to New Zealand. (For that story, check out this post, and the next two parts. How We Planned to Move to Italy and Ended up Choosing New Zealand; Our Story Part 1.)

We ended up showing the place to our tenants on September 20th, which was a long night for me; 2 of the 3 guys said they wanted it and shook my hand, but 1 said he needed to sleep on it. I had to chose to trust that if these guys were meant to live in our house, they would, and if they turned it down, God would bring someone else. Thankfully by mid-afternoon the next day, they had committed. They weren’t available to sign the lease for 5 more days. Then, I had to trust God that they wouldn’t change their minds over the weekend! On the 25th, we signed the lease. Even then, I was hesitant. It seemed too good to be true. Have you ever wanted something so bad, so long, that when it actually seems to be coming together, you think it can’t be real and might get snatched away in an instant? Every day, I have to choose to continue to trust God with our dreams. There’s always something to worry about. We could always lose something, or someone.

Greg almost died at work last month. I’ll get to that story later. Ever since I had him, I’ve feared losing him. When we were first engaged I used to have nightmares that he either cheated on me or died.

I think it’s fair to say that my family of origin struggles with fear, worry and anxiety. My sister was ill a lot growing up, and we almost lost her to her illness a few times. Being inches away from having your daughter or sister die, more than once, shows you that life is a gift; it’s not stable, and not to be taken for granted. It can also put some fear in you, because you don’t want to experience the pain of watching her suffer, or experience the suffering of losing her, or being ill as well.

When a person grows up with this, it becomes habitual. Then, the older we get, and the more pain and suffering we see, the more there is to fear. I have friends that are alone, either because they haven’t met the right partner, or because they’ve been abandoned. I’ve watched marriages break apart now, of people that got married around the time we did. I’ve had friends get cheated on, abandoned with newborns, left for someone else, widowed at our age! I’ve lost a very dear friend to cancer. The list goes on.

There’s always something to worry about. And the truth is, any one of these things could happen to us. I’ve been personally violently assaulted, and robbed, and struggle with fear for safety. I’ve had health problems, and major lung surgery, and struggle with fear of illness. We’re not immune to the pain of this world, even if we have God. He didn’t want it like this, but the world is imperfect, and there is pain. I have to hold on to and cling to the fact that He can bring good out of the ugly. He can take the broken pieces and put them back together. He can teach me something, and I can use those lessons to help and support others. I have to choose to put everything I hold into His hands, and trust He is good, because – here’s a huge understatement – it isn’t easy, and it’s always going to be a choice. But what is the alternative? Does not trusting God make life easier? Take away my pain? Eliminate my suffering?

I used to hold so tightly to my dream of having a permanent contract in my city’s public school division. When I was young, that was what I wanted for my life. All through high school and University, that was my big life plan; that permanent contract became everything to me. I needed it to be happy. I got married, had a house and car, good church, friends, decent health, family, and when I had that contract, my life would finally be complete. I really believed that for years. One year, I felt God showing me that I had put that contract on a pedestal and I was giving it way too much power in my life.

There is a story I heard about a little girl who gets cheap, fake pearls and loves them so much. Her Dad asks her every night if she trusts him, and if he can have them. She offers him everything she has, all of her other toys, but not her pearls. After several nights of this, she finally decides to trust him. She gives him her pearls, her most prized possession. In return, he gives her back real, genuine pearls.

That story still makes me emotional, because I have identified with it so much, initially in regards to my idolized teaching contract, and then eventually in several other areas of my life. God, our Father, isn’t out there looking to take things from us, just because. He’s got genuine, better things to replace the cheap, fake things we are holding so tightly to.

It’s like my eyes opened one day, and I realized that maybe, just maybe, there was something else I could do in my life that would be more satisfying and fulfilling and ultimately better for me. Mind. Blown. My permanent contract in my city was my fake pearls. I didn’t have to be afraid of letting that contract go anymore. As soon as I was willing to give it up, my world started opening with new possibilities.

That was a few years ago, and at the time, I believed I had given God all of my pearls. This summer, as I continued to worry about other things, that I was or am still holding tightly to, I realized something important. I hadn’t given God my whole string of pearls. The permanent contract was one pearl on the string. I have many other fake pearls that I’m still clinging to, because I don’t want the pain of losing them, or I fear what God will do with them. There is still work to be done in me.

I can either blame my family of origin and life circumstances for my tendency toward fear, or I can accept where I came from, take responsibility for my own struggles, and choose to accept God’s grace and help as I grow. I went with the second option, and have worked very hard on myself, and on letting God change me, for the last decade. There’s a saying that resonates with me: “I’m not where I want to be, but thank God I’m not where I was.” I’m not where I want to be. I still struggle with fearful thoughts and I will likely have to fight them every day for the rest of my life. I still want to cling tightly to certain things in my life that I want control over, or don’t want to lose, and have to fight to remember to hold them with loose hands. I used to always lose those fights though; now, some days, I win. Thank God I’m not where I was!

Back to the story of how Greg almost died. Greg has been roofing this summer. I don’t like the thought of him up on a roof every day. He’s clumsy. I also found out that he wasn’t wearing his safety harness lots of the time, and that made me more concerned. All summer, I’ve worried about him on the roof. I worried a lot at the start, but every day, as Greg left, I prayed that God would protect my husband. He did. I realized somewhere in there that God is Greg’s Father, who made him and loves him. Greg is God’s son, more than he is my husband. I decided to change my prayer.

One morning I prayed, “God, please protect your son today.” That same day, after Greg had finished roofing, he was at the dump unloading old shingles with his co-worker. They were using a large dump trailer, weighing upwards of 8000lbs. His co-worked hadn’t hooked the trailer up properly to the truck. It was also not working well, and Greg was standing in between the trailer and the truck, working on some wiring. He said that he just got a sense, all of a sudden, that he needed to step away, out from in between the truck and trailer. He dropped what he was doing and moved back. Instantly, the trailer unlatched and fell forward into the back of the truck, snipping the wires in half and crushing the tailgate, right where Greg had been standing. His co-worker was in shock at what had occurred, realizing it was his fault, and remembering where Greg had just been. Greg was shocked as well, and grateful to God for sparing his life. I realized when Greg came home and told me this, that I hadn’t even worried about him dying at the dump. He was off the roof, so I had stopped worrying. My worries don’t help him! God is in control and He thankfully kept Greg safe that day.

We did eventually rent out our house, so we could go ahead with the moving plans. But then I worried the rental wouldn’t go through. And then I worried they’d change their minds! And then I worried we wouldn’t get the right health insurance, or that we would have visa problems, or that our move won’t go through, or that we’ll get sick over there, or there won’t be jobs, or we’ll live somewhere unsafe, or go broke, or not have friends there, or that we’ll lose our friends here. What if we hate it? What if we love it? What will we do next year for work, or the year after that? Where will we live?

For the rest of our days, there will always be unanswered questions, and things we aren’t in control of and can’t know. There will always be something to worry about. As far as I’ve learned this summer, trusting God has a plan for me, to bring me hope and a future, is my best option. Otherwise the worries and unknowns will overwhelm me and weigh me down. What will be, will be anyways, whether I just plain worry, or whether I worry, and then chose to pray and trust and remind myself that God is good, and in control, and has a plan for me. Not easy, no, not easy at all – but possible.

Some days I fail, and some days I succeed, but I must keep choosing to trust, because there will always be something I could worry about. Another way of looking at it, is that there will always be something to choose to trust in; and God has been proving Himself to me day by day. Even as I write this, I find myself still facing some of these fears. I’m thankful for grace as I continue to learn.

How We Planned to Move to Italy and Ended Up Choosing New Zealand; Our Story Part 2

We spent the 2017 – 2018 school year doing our best to be grateful for our jobs and home, and all of our blessings here, even though we had hoped to be in Rome. It was a lesson in patience and gratitude. We would get there in September, we thought. In December, my brother in law got engaged, and picked October 5th as his wedding day! He wanted my husband in the wedding, and us to sing. We wanted to be there too, but we thought we were moving in early September. We planned to miss the wedding, and stick to our September plan.

During that winter, I was out of town for a friend’s birthday. We were in a big mall, and my husband and I ended up having a miscommunication that left me pretty upset. I was crying in public; as classy as that is, I wanted to be somewhere alone for a few minutes. I ran into the first store I found (Indigo) and went to the farthest back corner I could find where I could pretend to look at the shelves and finish crying. Low and behold, something caught my eye. I was in the calendar section, and there was one that was upside down and misplaced. I could only see a corner of it, but I thought it looked like Italy, so I pulled it out. Sure enough, it was an Italy calendar. It was 30% off, (and I was going to be 30 when we moved, and found that significant at the time) and I bought it. I saw it as a sign. I couldn’t wait to find out which month Rome was. I was sure it would be September, because that’s when we were planning to go, and it would be so serendipitous! Nope – Rome was November. November? No way we weren’t moving until November. I hoped this wasn’t foreshadowing.

A few months later, we decided we really should be a part of my brother in law’s wedding. We decided to postpone our move to November, and then travel around a bit before finding work for me in January. The only thing that I was disappointed about was that November is probably the worst month ever to travel Italy. They get tones of rain and lots of places are closed down for the winter. There’s a condition called Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and as much as I made fun of it the first time I heard about it, I am a full on SAD sufferer! If it’s not sunny often enough, I am upset and tired. If it’s raining when I’m trying to travel or be on a holiday, I am Up-Set! We couldn’t decide where we’d want to travel in November to get out of the rain, and not kick our move off with me being very SAD, leading to Greg being very annoyed.

By this time, Greg also knew he would love to work in the wine, spirits or beer industry. Ice-cream-in-the-square business out; alcohol industry in! A few years ago, some friends gave him some old home brewing supplies to sell for them, and he decided to keep the supplies and try his hand at it. We had no idea how much he was going to love it, and how that passion would lead to him wanting to work in the alcohol industry one day. He found a passion for brewing beer, and over the years and many trips to wine regions, we both found a passion for wine. The answer to his cousins’ question from years ago was finally clear.

As our 10th anniversary was approaching, I decided to get him a nice watch as a gift. I found what I thought was the perfect one and waited for it to go on sale. It had my birthstone on the front, and was clear in the back, and called the “open heart” watch, which felt great for an anniversary gift. I ordered it and paid. Within a week, my money was refunded to me and I was sent an email saying they couldn’t fulfill my order, with no reason! I was so disappointed. Greg, of course, knew none of this, and happened to notice one of our city’s private liquor stores was offering the WSET Level 2 course in the spring. We had wanted to take this before, but it’s not cheap. He asked if we could take the course together as his anniversary gift. Seeing as how I had just been refunded the watch money, and had no idea what to get him, I agreed!

We loved every minute of it, and both passed with distinction. We started volunteering at wine tastings and participating in everything we could to learn more. We made new friends in the industry and had great connections with them over a bottle of wine. When people asked what we were going to do in Italy, our answer was now, “well Chelsea can teach English, but what we really want to do is work in the wine industry.”

We knew it was not easy to get jobs in that industry in Italy unless we spoke Italian or had connections. Our liquor store hosted an Italian wine tasting with a wine maker from Italy on site. We spoke to her of our plans and she made it seem very unlikely that we could get jobs, other than maybe as harvest hands in smaller centres. That was a bit discouraging, but we kept holding onto the idea that we wanted to work in the wine industry and we were going to at least try; I had my English teaching certification to fall back on. We relayed this dream over and over to people who asked what we wanted to do for work, but we didn’t hear ourselves saying what our passion really was.

My husband surprised me with a trip to France for our 10th anniversary in June. We went back to Paris, and spent 5 days exploring several iconic wine regions. (We clearly love this industry.) I was so excited for the trip for all the obvious reasons, but also because I expected God to give me this incredible sense of peace while we were over there. I was sure He would confirm for me that we were making the right decision to live in Europe.

We arrived and on the first night, I had an ear ache. Greg was fast asleep. My doctor advised hydrogen peroxide for my ear aches in the past, and I didn’t have any with me. I started thinking about how I needed to buy some, but I didn’t know how to communicate it, or where to buy it. Then I got thinking about how I would communicate with doctors once we moved if something else happened. I realized a lot of things that I wasn’t feeling good about that night, and I basically had a panic attack. I was up most of the night, pacing the Airbnb and out on the balcony, feeling very unprepared and unsettled about the move. I was sick to my stomach for almost half of the days on that trip, and just felt off about the move.

All the excitement and peace I was expecting to feel were nowhere to be found. I was terrified. We ate at an Italian restaurant on the last night and couldn’t communicate at all with the server. I had a reality check of what it would be like committing to living in Italy for a year. At this point, I still thought we were going through with it, so I tried to console myself; I was probably just getting cold feet. “Everyone probably feels this way when they move,” I thought.

Italian Friday’s were not going well either. Every time we tried to do one, we ended up discussing the things we were worried about; we had concerns and were trying to push through them and get excited again, but the reality of living in Rome began to feel more like a burden than a dream. We stuck to the plan though, as we felt God pulling us towards this move, and He had been pushing us to leave Saskatoon for so long. We figured we must persevere.

As we were planning to go later in the fall due to the wedding, we planned to sell the house in the spring in order to get rid of all ties and all debt. I was using it as a test; if we sold the house, we’d move to Italy. If it didn’t sell, we wouldn’t. Our realtor came over, we picked a price range, he took photos, and said he’d be back in a couple weeks once the snow had melted to list it. A couple weeks later however, the comparables in our neighbourhood had dropped by $50,000! Our realtor said he’d never seen anything like that happen before, and he refused to even list it. We would take a loss on the house if we sold it, and it was my grandmother’s; he didn’t want us to go ahead, and told us to fix up the basement and rent it out instead (we have an amazing realtor that actually cares about us).

Selling the house was my test to see if we were really supposed to move to Italy! What now? Without listing it, there went that test. Even despite the sale of the house being my self-proclaimed confirmation on Italy, I felt extremely relieved. I wasn’t sure I actually wanted to sell the house yet. I felt bad that my husband had to continue to maintain it, and I was concerned about finances, but I felt at peace knowing we were keeping it for now. (Looking back on it, we didn’t sell it, and we’re not actually going to Italy. Maybe God was hinting and/or clearly shouting at me about the destination, even then.)

New plan, again! This new plan was to rent out our house in June or July (at the latest), and live in our camper again to save money for our move. I was laid off from my teaching position in June. This was actually a huge answer to prayer for me! I was really dreading facing having to make a decision myself on taking another contract, or turning one down. In my city, if a teacher turns down a contract, it’s essentially career suicide. Jobs are nearly impossible to come by with thousands of grads piling up in town, and only a handful of positions open each year. By being laid off, I was able to move forward with no regrets, and it having been out of my control, and this was a major load off of my shoulders.

We also got rid of our truck. We couldn’t sell it, so we traded it for a BMW that we thought would be a quick and easy sell. (It wasn’t! I am still driving that car.)

We posted our house for rent on social media at the end of May, around the same time as we had the year before. We found our first tenants within 3 weeks last year, and I expected the house to go fast again. Despite the delay in selling the BMW, we were taking steps towards the move, finally! Except our house didn’t rent, and didn’t rent, and I really struggled with that.

…to be continued.